i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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