Screwed.edu
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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