I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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