What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
