Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
