I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Acid is not a monday night drug
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
