so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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