but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
