waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
