he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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