So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
