we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
