I'd wear matching sweaters with you
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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