Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
