Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Bring me that man meat
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
