Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
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