maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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