Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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