I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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