Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
