Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
