All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
as a side note pls kill me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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