ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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