He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
