You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He passed out mid-signature
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
