so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
