your thong is hanging out like whoa
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
