In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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