Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
