well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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