I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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