So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
