Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
