If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
