he shaved USA in his pubs
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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