Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
