We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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