When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's shark week go big or go home
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
