Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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