Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
