Define "chronic" masturbator.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I would fuck him just for his dog
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