Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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