Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
