well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
