That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
