Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
