you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
