he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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