So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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