So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
